Thoughts while trying to shake off the jet lag

My motivations for studying Chinese--as I understand them--were different I think than many in academia, though not all. It was never simply about being an academic, nor was it about my research alone. Neither was it about my career, though I figured there would be some way of applying what I was to learn. At the time, I felt stuck, and was searching for a way to get on with my life. But there was something more. Since my youth, I had been intrigued by China, as a concept, something magical, far away, a dream. I dreamt about going there. Did I wish to become Chinese? I don't know. But somewhere in my gut I believed a transformation was possible, desirable. That is what it was, a transformative yearning, to be something different, somewhere else, like the frog in a well desperately attempting to hop out and experience the vastness of the world. My desires have changed, somewhat. Now, I am much more content with who I am; my vision is also more focused on what is in front of me, as I strive to put into practice what I have learned.